scratch that. Here's a story i wrote at some point.
Kara Ripley lived in a small town in an unpopular state in a less popular country. The reason the country was unpopular was that it’s elected leaders were lunatics. Lunatics, by and large should be kept out of government positions. However, these lunatics had paid alot of people alot of money to pretend that they were not lunatics and so had been placed in the uppermost positions of power by the gullible people of the unpopular country. There were, of course, lunatics in this country who were not in government positions, but these were few and far between. Most of the people who were generally thought to be lunatics were in fact, not. Actually, most of them were people who had been at some point in their lives kidnapped by space aliens and couldn’t remember it. Being kidnapped by aliens can make a person appear to be a lunatic to other people. Kara Ripley was one of these people. She had, when she was seventeen and a half years old been kidnapped by an obscure race of aliens. They did not look like the ones in movies. The aliens were not tall and willowy with large craniums and high voices, they were not green sinister blobs with a lot of teeth. In fact, they looked quite a lot like common grey squirrels, with two main differences. The first was that their tails were about two inches longer than the average grey squirrel, and the second was that they had antennae. The antennae were rather stumpy and horn like. They used their horn-like antennae to measure things like density, temperature, and pain tolerance. The way they did this was to run headlong into an object and stick their antennae into it’s surface for three quarters of a second. If the object they were measuring happened to be alive this was a very painful process. Kara did not remember meeting these aliens, although forever afterward she was deathly afraid of squirrels.
It was the night between the last day of July and the first of August when they came for her as she slept in her twin bed on the second floor of her parent’s house. There were twenty-six of them. They phased through the wall of her room and proceeded to dash about, gathering data, and generally making a mess. Two of them up ended the waste basket and carefully uncrumpled each and every receipt it contained, picking them up in their tiny hands and spearing them on their little hornlike antennae, memorizing every penny Kara had spent since the last time her trash had been emptied. They also stored information on what type of trees had been used to create the paper the receipts were printed on and what stores used which kinds of paper. Another group analysed the wood of her dresser and were appalled that any species could have so little regard for the life of a tree of that age. The powder of Kara’s make-up kit made them sneeze as they dumped it on their heads and she woke up. Seeing the movement, eight of the aliens gallantly charged her to see what she was and if she was a threat to their data gathering expedition.
Sometimes i wonder what it would be like to be a bug. It seems like seeing in so many directions all the time would be like being drunk and wearing two pairs of glasses that belong to different people at the same time.